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Change Is a Process<\/p>\n
A year ago, I started writing about a girl\u2019s journey to and through high school. She has a diagnosis of Aspergers. High school is no easy place for anyone, but with the right accommodations and learning strategies, this girl can have a great school experience. One of the things I never addressed in the series was that while she is making improvements, we also have to accept that change is a process and that even when there are improvements, we don\u2019t necessarily go from floor to ceiling. The same can be true for other people.<\/p>\n
My high school friend, Michael, has Aspergers. I\u2019ve been following his blog since before I wrote about this girl in December. As his Autism spectrum diagnosis has progressed, he\u2019s been making progress on many fronts. At least for me, that means some things he says have changed from what I remember saying a year ago.<\/p>\n
One of the issues is that people with Aspergers tend to be very bad at maintaining friendships. Michael has a couple of close friends and another friend who kind of hangs around. The problem is that he finds it hard to maintain friendships. Here\u2019s what he said about friendships in a recent post:<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t have any real close friends anymore, and that\u2019s not a good thing. I\u2019m always looking for new friends, but I\u2019m also realizing that no matter how hard I try to find new friends, I\u2019ll never have the kind of friendships I have with my other brothers and sisters.<\/p>\n
No, I can\u2019t comment on Michael\u2019s close friends as I don\u2019t know them, but I want to address the idea that people with Aspergers aren\u2019t good at maintaining friendships. I think this is a big misconception.<\/p>\n
I was fortunate enough to grow up in a family where we were very good at maintaining friendships. We had lots of friends. Mom and Dad were always able to get together and have meals with our friends. Dad was always invited to birthday parties. Friends stayed at our house, played board games with us, and gave us advice.<\/p>\n
I think this had a lot to do with the fact that our parents were very good at relating to their kids and they knew how to build relationships.
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