But it’s also fairly common to hear that casual sex can be harmful — medically, at least, if not morally. Oddly enough, these arguments echo a common line from the Christian right. They’ve been making that claim since the ’60s, and these days have simply taken over the otherwise liberal idea that all sex is sacred and thus should be reserved for marriage. Indeed, even the American Medical Association (and the World Health Organization) both recognize sex as a disease-causing activity. So, what gives?
Firstly, most of those claims concern sexual practice — not, crucially, sexual risk. If anything, as the LGBT community has amply proven, the more casual one’s sexual identity, the more likely that person is to get sexually transmitted diseases. But to many monogamous people — or at least to the thinking that has informed America’s Christian right for decades — that’s because they’re hooking up with strangers. In fact, in a culture where casual sex is normalized to the point of becoming the norm, odds are people are cheating on their spouses at least as often as they are casual hooking up, and for vastly different reasons.
The other problem with that viewpoint is that most of those diseases are curable with a simple checkup. The riskiness of a hookup is in the fact that it often involves people meeting people from different backgrounds who might not be comfortable with them sexually.
Is casual sex bad for your relationship?
There are plenty of statistics about divorce rates, polyamory and hookups, but no statistics about what really drives people to get casual sex. Obviously, there is some level of risk, but when the young people talk of strangers in bars being their “hookup doctor,” one has to wonder what that kind of practice looks like. What’s the red flag if a partner has no desire to see you again but you insist on getting intimate? What are you to do if one or both partners is struggling with sex addiction, they’re in the closet about their other sexual adventures, or they have strong feelings for the opposite sex, and you really don’t?
The risk of casual sex includes emotional and physical complications, which can be put into four basic categories:
The obvious hookup risks — STDs
However, that’s easier said than done. The fact that we now have two types of STD tests is helpful — one for screening and one for monitoring infections. That isn’t exactly the case with casual sex, but you can always rely on the fact
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